current mood: bored

i really hate when my weekends feel so uneventful & drab. my days at work are so long & leave so little free time that my days off always feel like they have to be something. it was bound to happen since it started off badly. i just wish it hadn't been the case.
i finished reading blood on the tracks, volumes 1 & 2. i definitely need to pick up some more volumes next week because i'm very ... intrigued.
what else did i do ... ? had a really uneventful thrift trip & bad coffee. played half of a nancy drew game. watched too much tiktok out of boredom. ugh.
i've been so ridden with anxiety lately; not that i'm ever not ... but it's been definitely more than it has been for a while.
i'm tired of working nights.

current mood: accomplished

it's been a while since i've updated the journal. i was thinking about it all weekend, about coming here & writing but i kept putting it off/forgetting. i like this space... i need to take better care of it.
today was the first day back at work after my weekend - which was nothing special, honestly, but nice nonetheless - & it was such a long day. it really wouldn't end. i had a really weird dream with a person that's not here anymore. not the best start to the day when i wake up from dreams like that. it happens too often tbh.
after work i went to the gym & cooked dinner. i really like sweet potatoes right now so i've been eating them often. i get the ones that are yellow inside. i got a few things done as well so i'm feeling really proud & accomplished.
thankfully i'm taking a couple of extra days off this next week because i'll be going out of town for a day or so (halloween horror nights is finally here!) & i am so looking forward to it.
oh! over the weekend, i bought pikmin 4. such a wholesome game. i've played it a lot already & i'm nowhere near done since i'm taking my time with it & realy enjoying it. recommend!

current mood: melancholy

back to work today & it felt like i got hit by a truck. it's almost like the nice weekends make going to that place so much worse. i'm feeling a lot of stagnation & like there's no better path in sight. i'm emotionally pretty drained, worried about my friends & just really burnt-out.
i don't want to only write about sad things, however, so i'm not gonna elaborate on that too much right now.
i had a nice weekend. it felt long yet not long enough at the same time. on wednesday, i went to my city's art walk - it's like a montly event with vendors in the streets, music, & free museum entry. i went to the bookstore & got a coffee that was suprisingly so good i can't stop thinking about it. i bought a plant & people-watched while sitting on the grass at the park there. then it started raining.
thurday was a slower day, & then friday i went out & played basketball, did some shopping & a lot of walking. & this morning i left work early & went out to ride my bike. the weather is cooling off significantly. the sky was so clear - i love how the sky looks during fall/winter. my legs are gonna be really sore tomorrow. it's crazy how alive i feel just riding a bike in the stillness of the night. there's something so freeing about it & i can't think of a better feeling.
anyway, i ended the night with a grilled cheese & a perfectly *spicy* coke. honestly such a highlight to an otherwise shitty day.

current mood: tense

ugh i'm so glad it's my weekend again. work sucked today - it dragged on forever & everyone was getting on my nerves.
i'm pretty tired, honestly. tired of a lot of things ... things i usually avoid thinking about because what's the point, really? there's so much i can't change.
i'm trying hard to do as much as i can whenever possible. new things, new opportunities. it keeps me going.
all i can do is try to be optimistic & not let my usual cynicism consume me.

current mood: sleepy

got the car back! ended up having to call out of work due to the car issues so
i got an extended weekend. i can't complain about that.
went out to the old town with my friends tonight. the weather was breezy & humid.
it was a full moon, too. we walked by the river, the graveyards & all along the cobblestone streets.
turns out we walked around 5 miles (!?) & did lots of people-watching.
it was a nice end to the weekend. not looking forward to work tomorrow... but
i guess it will be a shorter week anyway.